Monday, February 05, 2007


I married a man with a restless heart.

Do you ever have one of those days where your life seems to be so full of craziness that you're certain God is trying to refine your character? Yet, you cannot quite put your finger on what it is you are supposed to have learned from it all? We are in the midst of a predicament. Today is one of those days. The days when I can see my husband's restless heart more clearly than ever. Some might be afraid of this quality, but I think its kinda beautiful. A challenge arises and I have to try to find clarity in the mud.
My husband craves adventure and danger and all sorts of things I can't give him. All I can do is go along for the ride. But God can be his adventure. God challenges his heart and his mind in ways that I will never comprehend. Some days he questions his faith so much I think he just might give up on it. Yet, other days he is willing to risk his whole life and reputation for the cause of the Gospel. All I can do is stand by and watch in awe at the ridiculously adventurous man I married and support him 100% every step of the way, because I know that's my calling. I am not the adventure. I am not the challenge. I am the helper. I'm like Short Round from Indiana Jones. I get to learn from this man and look up to him and even learn more about myself by being with him. And I get to go along for the ride. I view my role as "the helper" in this relationship not as demoralizing, but rather as an honor. I am blessed to be able to do things for him so that, in turn, we give greater glory to God together.
On days like today, I wonder whether this road block in front of us is supposed to be part of the adventure. Or is it a hard lesson I am supposed to learn? Or am I just over-analysing it? Days like today are the days when my husband gets restless. I have to pray for God's peace to guard our hearts and our minds, so that we don't get ourselves into even bigger trouble. Lord knows we can't keep our lives together on our own. And I think God brought us together to pick the other up when one has fallen down. We can give each other wisdom and insight in tough situations. There is always someone there with a second perspective. God knew our personalities would compliment one another so he put us in a situation to cross paths, so that at just the right moment we would be joined in a very special union that I believe even some other married couples do not understand.

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