Tuesday, June 06, 2006
I have lost control of my spending. I used to keep track of every cent amazingly well. I saved pretty much everything I earned. Now, I rely on a lot of guesswork and trust.
I always tithed 10% and I wrote everything down in my check register.
A lot has changed since I married Ivan. We have one joint checking account--no savings. I gave up on keeping track of what I spent when I realized Ivan never once wrote anything down. Everything we earn gets spent immediately. We are always less than a payckeck away from being flat broke. It seems I have lost all control of my financial situation. The only way we made it through the last school year was through our financial aid.
Even though there have been many times in our 1 1/2 years of marriage that we barely squeaked by, God came through at just the right moment every single one of those times. Wether it was through a gift from a friend or family member or even the time we had an accident and came out on top with insurance money, He has been so gracious when we have been so weak. I have prayed and prayed that God would provide for us, but only just enough...just enough that we don't become proud and materialistic. That prayer has been answered again and again. I believe it is good for us to be kept on our toes. We don't get too comfortable that way. We continually rely on God.
While I do think our budgeting habits could use a lot of work, I think our past year or two speaks volumes about God's provision for his flock. It is a wonder to me that my friends must toil at full time jobs and be full time students while recieving help from their parents and still barely be able to make rent, while Ivan and I have gotten by on part-time jobs and a lot of trust. The thing I am ashamed of is not giving God more praise for these miracles.