Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Thoughts on My Marriage: Part 2; The Mystery of Love

Have you ever been in a bad romantic relationship or had a "failed relationship"?
I am little obsessed with the idea lately.
If you have been following my posts and links on Facebook or my blog, you probably get the message by now that I have been feeling extremely depressed about the state of relationships and marriage in our society. The reasons are many and multi-faceted (and maybe its a little bit because my own relationship is admittedly imperfect). My heart has been heavy-laden with the weight of thinking about sexual sin and the impact of parents' relationships with each other on their children.

I am no expert--I have only been married 4 years! But I think if there is one thing that has kept our marriage strong it is that I always have this sense of commitment and this sense of hope...hope that if we are going through a rough time, we will get through it. Most of the time marriage is a great thing, but you wake up some mornings and you don't feel like loving the person next to you. You decide to do it anyway. You go through seasons that are not filled with passion...occasionally you even go through seasons that are filled with flat-out disdain. But you stick to your commitment, because you made a promise.

The mystery of love is the great mystery of life. I believe to love someone is a choice. You choose to make sacrifices for a person no matter how much they bug you or how messy it gets. And you know what? It pays off. The feelings follow the actions. And the actions are reciprocated. This is not to say that you should love out of expectation for reciprocity, rather you should love knowing that you will reap blessings one way or another. That's part of the mystery.

If you are a follower of Christ, he calls you to love your neighbor, strangers, even your enemies. Love the people that may never show you mercy.

I would venture to say it can be the most difficult thing in a person's life when the person you are trying to love won't love you back. What do you do? (No really, I am asking. What do you do? I would like to know.)

When I am struggling with loving my neighbor, it helps to consider Christ's great love for me. I have rebelled against him, cursed him to his face, hated his followers, and broken my promises to him. I am an adulterer in his eyes.

Yet, he loves me.

The mystery of my relationship with my husband
is that it is more than your average American marriage. Stay tuned for Part 3!

(For those of you reading this on blogger, here is excerpt from 'Thoughts on My Marriage: Part1'
"Ivan and I balance each other in a lot of ways. Its never a perfect balance, but its a balance that blesses us and challenges us. If Ivan didn't have me, he would walk around in the same pants for two weeks and he would be late for everything. If I didn't have Ivan I wouldn't have as much confidence. If Ivan didn't have me he would play an unhealthy amount of video games. If I didn't have Ivan, I would be incredibly bored and my life would be a waste")

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