My Baby Won't Nurse!

Refusal to nurse is a common problem breastfeeding moms will face with their little ones. Babies wail or fuss at the breast. They push away or arch their backs. I've encountered it dozens of times with my little ones, and it's enough to make a mom want to throw in the towel (or burp cloth) on breastfeeding. To date, I have more than 24 months of breastfeeding experience under my belt, but only because I refused to give up. Most often, waiting it out seemed to be the key. I thought I should share some of the reasons why babies may fuss at the breast:

• Needing to burp: If baby's been nursing just fine for five minutes or so, then suddenly refuses to continue, the most common explanation is the need to burp.

• Simply not hungry: Young babies will generally need to eat every two to four hours. If you suspect your baby might not be hungry, try again in another 30 to 60 minutes. Don't wait for your baby to become overly-hungry, though.

• Indigestion: The foods a mother eats change the content and flavor of her milk. Babies may get some indigestion from certain foods or simply not like the flavor of the milk after mom had something spicy.

• A cold: If your baby has a stuffy nose, she may not be able to breathe very easily when she sucks in milk. Try a little bit of baby nasal saline solution followed by a nasal bulb before nursing.

• An ear infection or teething: If this is the case, the action of nursing can sometimes be painful for some babies. If you suspect teething, give your baby a teething toy. Wait an hour or so, and keep trying. If you suspect an ear infection, use an otoscope to check your baby's ear for redness, or see your child's pediatrician.

• Too tired to nurse: Occasionally, babies are just too tired to want to do the work of eating. Sometimes a difficult afternoon or a busy day full of new experiences makes babies overstimulated. Put baby down to nap.

• Distractions: A room full of other people or sounds can be distracting or overwhelming, especially for babies about six months old or older. Do your best to dim the lights and find someplace quiet for just the two of you.

• Bowel movement: My children would refuse to nurse if they were trying to poop, no matter how hungry I thought they must be (especially as very young babies). As soon as they were done and in a fresh diaper, everything would be fine.

• A sore shoulder or neck: There was an instance with my son when simply the act of placing him in a side-lying posture seemed to set him off. I realized I had been repeatedly holding him wrong. If you haven't been diligent about how you position your baby's spine, neck and shoulders, your baby could develop sore muscles. (Baby's ear, shoulder and hip should be aligned). Try making her as comfortable as possible, possibly placing her atop a soft pillow or nursing in a different position than usual. The problem should remedy itself in a day or so.

• Other explanations can include colic, thrush, a food sensitivity, milk flow (too fast or slow) or hyperlactation syndrome. And sometimes babies go on a nursing strike for reasons we don't understand.

Even if you cannot determine the reason your baby won't eat, there are things you can do.

• First and foremost, soothe your baby and wait for him to be calm before trying again. You don't want him to associate frustration with the breast.

• Propping baby's head and torso in a more upright position. I found this to be especially effective if I could hold the baby in such a way to nurse while walking around and gently bouncing.

• Keep trying. If you've tried a few times and aren't making progress, give it an hour. Keep trying! In the mean time, use a breast pump every two or three hours to relieve engorgement and keep your milk supply.

• Try giving a bottle, just for one or two feedings. Sometimes babies who are refusing to nurse will take a bottle. Try breastfeeding again later in the day.

• Call a support person: a lactation consultant, an experienced mom, a pediatrician, or just a friend who will help you relax.

If all else fails, be sure to see your doctor and don't feel guilty or ashamed if you aren't able to continue breastfeeding. You need to what's best for baby AND you.

Fear in Childbirth

For the Mommies-to-be: Are you afraid of giving birth, maybe just a little?
...Pretty sure you share that sentiment with about every other female in the U.S., so you're not alone. But, take heart! There's really very little reason to be! Today I want to share with you something very personal that I hope will be encouraging.

I'll start by saying that in the old days, a girl would have learned everything she knew about birth from firsthand experience. She would have witnessed her mother or sister or aunt or cousin giving birth. She probably would have seen farm animals giving birth to their babies. Today, we've removed ourselves from all of this. Few things irritate me more than how the media has portrayed labor in movies and TV...and basically ruined childbirth for us. I promise you it is not like how they show it on TV! (Well, at least not for most of the moms I've heard from). If that's the only videos you ever watch of a woman giving birth, then of course you will be terrified! It's not all screaming and flailing around on your back. Watch some REAL videos of women giving birth. And there are things you can  do to try to make it an empowering, spiritual experience.

I have been meaning to do this for some time, but I realized some of my friends are due to have their babies very soon and might benefit from this, so I have to stop procrastinating. Below, I have scanned and posted the little documents that I created during my pregnancy with my daughter. I meditated on them daily through the last few months of that pregnancy. I had learned about the "sphincter law" and began to think up ways to allay my fears so that I could have a better chance at the birth experience I hoped for. I prayed, read books, talked to friends, and scoured the internet: every time I came across encouraging words and images, I collected them.

These are my personal words of encouragement and images that I needed to meditate on each day to psych myself up to give birth. I included images of things from the happy moments in my life, my husband, my son, a blooming flower, and art by Amy Swagman (among others). There are scriptures and song lyrics. This is one small part of what made me feel totally at peace about the whole process (you can read about the rest here). I encourage future mommies to make a list of everything you're afraid of about giving birth, and to pray about those things. Then, you can make your very own collection of encouraging words to meditate on throughout your pregnancy.
(I have transcribed everything at the bottom of this post for you)

I am leaving you with a gift -- peace of mind and peace of heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. - John 14.27

To everything a season
A time for every purpose under Heaven...
...A time to be born
- Ecclesiastes 3.1

I prayed for this child and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD. - 1Samuel 1:27 & 28

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour; for if they fall, one will lift up his companion. ...again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm...Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. A threefold cord cannot be broken. Ecclesiastes 4.9-12

...you will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. - Isaiah 58.11

Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." - Matthew 11.28-30

...perfect love drives out fear... 1John 4.18

Let your eyes look straight ahead.
Fix your gaze directly before you.
- Proverbs 4.25

...And the Lord God formed a man's body from the dust of the ground and breathed into it the breath of life. And the man became a living person....And the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him..." "At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone!"....This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one."

Those who love your law have great peace and do not stumble. - Psalm 119.165

And Eve said, "With the Lord's help, I have brought forth a man!" - Genesis 4.1

Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of Grace, that way we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need. - Hebrews 4.16

But when we ask, we must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed about by the wind. - James 1.6

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. - Hebrews 11.1

They will not work in vain, and their children will not be doomed to misfortune. For they are people blessed by the Lord, and their children, too, will be blessed. I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking, I will go ahead and answer their needs. Isaiah 65.23-24

Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word. Psalm 119.37

I tell you the Truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. - Mark 11.23-24

You will keep her in peace, perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You; because she trusts in You. - Isaiah 26.3 (modified)

for God did not give us a Spirit of fear, but a Spirit of power, of love, and of self-control. - 2Timothy 1.7

Stand still and consider all the wondrous works of God. - Job 37.14

I sought the LORD and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. - Psalm 34.4

The Lord is my deliverer!
Be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead! - 1Peter 1.16

Be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion!... - Philippians 1.6

Children are a blessing from the Lord; the fruit of the womb, a reward. - Psalm 127.3

Cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you. - 1Peter 5.7

...I will sustain you and I will rescue you. - Isaiah 46.4

"Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!...Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" - Luke 1.42-45

My Grace is sufficient for you. My power works best in your weakness. - 2Corinthians 12.9

I am your God; I will strengthen and help you!

I will uphold you with my righteous hand. - Isaiah 41.10

For you formed my inward parts; You covered my in my mother's womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and [that] my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, [And] skillfully wrought in the lowest parts...Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when [as yet they were] none of them. - Psalm 139.13-16

Seek his path in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. - Proverbs 3.6

No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety. - Psalm 16.9

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. - Romans 8.37

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. - 2Samual 22.33

By You I have been upheld from birth; You are He who took me out of my mother's womb. My praise [shall be] continually of you. - Psalm 71.6

The midwives answered Pharaoh, "Hebrew women (God-fearing women) are not like Egyptian women, they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive." - Exodus 1.19

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. - 1Corinthians 6.19-20

...[Jesus said] whoever receives one such child in my name receives me...  - Matthew 18.1-5

...How joyful are those who fear the Lord--all who follow his ways! You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be! Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home...That is the Lord's reward for those who fear Him. - Psalm 128.1-6

Surrender, wait Patiently on the Lord

It is well with my soul

May the hope of God fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15.13

For you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being. - Revelation 4.11

...Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the Earth. Genesis 9.1

"May I always see, Lord, in every waking hour, your majesty and grace in this delicate flower."

Advantages of a Small Dog

When my husband insisted we needed to get a dog, we had the inevitable debate about what type of dog to get. He, of course, wanted a larger dog. I was not convinced that I--who would be doing the majority of the care during the week--could  handle a large dog in our tiny apartment, let alone walk and train a larger dog with my tiny stature (I'm still not convinced I want a dog at all, but alas).

We ended up settling on a Schnoodle. This was the breed of dog my husband had grown up with, so he was happy with that. They are known to be relatively shed-free, smart, friendly and patient with grabby children, so I was happy. We found a puppy for sale nearby by a Mennonite family, and they were asking less money than either the pound or the shelter. She is a cross between a mini Schnauzer and mini Poodle. We brought her into our family, and named her Calamity Jane. Today, at 10.5 lb, she fits squarely in the "small dog" category (between "toy" and "medium").

While I'm still not a huge fan of all the care that goes into owning a dog in addition to caring for our two small children, I stand by my claim that there are definite advantages to small dogs. Owning a small dog virtually removes the issue of teaching her not to take food from the table (unless she's a climber). A baby gate works just fine to keep her contained. When she 'thwaps' me with her tail, I barely notice. She is much less prone to knock people/children down if she jumps on them (though, even at just 10.5 lb, my dog has knocked my toddler over on occasion). My son wrestles with her quite a bit. She gets nearly all the exercise she needs just scampering about the apartment. Her bark--while high-pitched--doesn't carry throughout the neighborhood when she's on a barking spree after a wandering cat or deer. I don't have any trouble controlling her if she pulls on the leash with all her might. There's always room for her to snuggle on the sofa, even with three adults. She can easily ride on my lap in our compact car. Her coat takes less time to groom. She eats far less than a large dog, which saves money for sure. Cleaning up her "little messes" are less of chore. And, if all else fails, I can easily pick her up in my arms and put her where I want her.

That's not to say there aren't advantages to owning certain types of larger dogs--there definitely are--but I wouldn't trade. Not until my husband buys me an acreage!

Favorite Books for Parents

Some of my personal favorites I have on my shelf right now.

• The Everything Potty Training Book - Linda Sonna

• Games Babies Play - Vicki Lansky, Has cute songs and games to play with infants and toddlers arranged by age.

• Raising Puppies and Kids Together - Silvan and Eckhardt

• The Name Book - Dorothy Astoria, Has 10,000 names with meaning, origins and Biblical significance.

•  Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for Dads - Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden, Has a great sense of humour about infant care.

• The Baby Signing Book - Sara Bingham, A great first book for communicating with your infant/toddler.

• The Nursing Mother's Companion - Kathleen Huggins, An indispensable guide for breastfeeding.

• Hypnobirthing: the Mongan Method - Marie F. Mongan, I especially love the history of medical birth in the U.S. in this book.

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin, Definitive natural birth book. So many encouraging stories!

• The Birth Book - Sears & Sears, Basic guide to giving birth and preparations.

The Birth of Adelynn Elizabeth

If you want the short story, here it is: It went well.

If you want the long story, here it is...

The Birth of Adelynn Elizabeth

“Gooood girl.”

That's what my labor doula, Theresa, was telling me as stronger contractions were coming on. Hearing those wonderful words made me feel like I was doing something good and strong and positive (instead of feeling that my body was out of control.)

This birth journey began more than a year prior with a loss. In September of 2010, my husband (Ian) and I were reunited after more than 8 months of separation for military training. We were excited when we became pregnant immediately, but our joy was squelched by experiencing a miscarriage in October. In January of 2011 we conceived again. Initially I was very happy, but I was also filled with fear that we would miscarry again.

It took a lot of time and prayer, but my fears were eventually completely replaced with excitement and a deep peace—a confidence—that the pregnancy and birth were going to go smoothly. I began making preparations for our family addition: shopping for baby items, investing in cloth diapers, researching about how to make my labor go smoothly, reviewing information I learned during my first pregnancy, and praying all my fears away.

The pregnancy went about as well as a woman could ask for. I didn't experience the problems I had with my first pregnancy: irritation on my finger under my wedding ring, edema, stretch marks, stress, horrible acne, and low iron. My weight gain was healthier, and my back pain and morning sickness weren't nearly as bad. I loved seeing midwives at my prenatal visits, instead of an obstetrician. They made me feel encouraged about my pregnancy and having the birth I wanted. They didn't insist on giving me a bunch of unnecessary ultrasounds, urine tests and cervical exams as the O.B.s had done during my first pregnancy with Samson.

The smooth pregnancy boosted my confidence about my impending labor. I knew I wanted things to go differently than they did with Samson's birth, and I wanted to work hard to achieve a better birth if at all possible. With Samson's birth my water began leaking, but my body didn't go into labor spontaneously. I labored for 12 hours while they pumped Pitocin into me via IV to induce the contractions, which made the entire experience extra painful. I later learned I am one of only a handful of women who accomplish this without an epidural. My doula, Linda, really made a huge difference in helping me through that labor, so I knew I would want to hire a doula again. Through a series of fortunate accidents, I found the perfect, affordable labor doula (Theresa). I had wanted to labor in the water with my first birth, but there wasn't a hospital with tubs near where we lived at that time. Our local hospital in Northern New York does have tubs, so I wrote that as a request in my birth plan for this birth. I also knew my body would be stronger this time, even if only because of toting around a 32 lb. toddler all day.

As the big birth day got closer and closer, I concerned myself with many things. What would I do with Samson, when I go to the hospital? How will Samson deal with the day of separation? What if too many sweets makes me have a very large baby? What if my water breaks and my body doesn't go into labor spontaneously? What if I can't keep the house clean and I come home from the hospital to a big mess? What if my loose belly muscles keep my body from doing what its supposed to? I even worried after I read one woman's experience about a prolonged pushing stage due to her baby's arm coming out of the birth canal alongside the head.

I am SO thankful that none of my worst fears came to fruition.

At first I thought for sure that I would go into labor early. Based on the reactions I got from strangers around town, you would have thought I was 43 weeks pregnant when I was only 6 months. People I met on the street insisted on telling me that my due date must be off or that I was having twins (I tend to have an especially protruding belly due to loose belly muscles). Samson had been born at 38 ½ weeks, which is somewhat early, so I assumed that my second birth would be similar.

My due date was set at September 28, which happens to be my husband's birthday. Fall is my favorite season, so I was pleased with the idea of having a baby in the cool autumn weather. The 38 week mark—the earliest time I would expect to go into labor—came and went. I got the midwife to check my cervix, which she informed me was soft and slightly dilated. I thought that was good news and that I would go into labor soon. She told me to go ahead and go to the baby shower the ladies at church had planned for me, and then have the baby. I laughed and agreed that was what I should do.

While I waited, I used the days to prepare myself more and more for the big birth day. This turned out to be a huge blessing. I took evening primrose oil to help soften my cervix. I kept practicing the hypnobirthing techniques from the book and CD I'd purchased. I put together several pages of encouraging images and scripture verses which I meditated on often through the last weeks to put me in the right mindset. I chose a few hymns, several other songs, and some nature sounds which I compiled onto CDs to listen to during labor for relaxation. While I'd originally not planned on using the birth ball, I had time to buy an air pump to refill it and decided to bring the ball to the hospital just in case.

Probably the most helpful thing that prepared me came as a mixed blessing. During the last several weeks of my pregnancy I found I would experience terrible pain if I reclined on the sofa with my torso at about a 45° angle. If I stood up quickly the pain would subside immediately. I kept having it and I kept changing positions. This actually ended up training me to just try different positions if I was in pain, because changing positions made the pain go away. What great preparation for labor! It also reminded me that I did not want to be reclining on my tailbone during the pushing phase of labor.

When the 39 week mark came and went, I got pretty restless. I was having an awful time remembering anything for more than 10 seconds. My sleep was increasingly restless. I was basically running around like a chicken with my head cut off and accomplishing very little. The midwife once again told me my cervix was soft and slightly dilated. She also did an ultrasound to be certain the baby's head was in the right position to be born. She showed me that she could see hair on the baby's head!

Around 40 weeks, I gave serious consideration to trying castor oil to induce labor. Something stopped me: a nudge from the Spirit, I suppose. I just had this feeling that God had this all planned out to go a certain way, and I shouldn't mess with it. I had read that making love is often very effective at inducing labor (if the body is ready). We tried this, but all it did was give me a “false start.” The evening that we tried it, I began having contractions at 10 minute intervals which continued for 12 hours. I even had my doula come to my house! She did some acupressure techniques to induce contractions. The contractions didn't increase in intensity or frequency, and then the contractions went away as suddenly as they'd come.

I was seen by an O.B. after my due date passed. He recommended induction, but was willing to let me pick the date. I hated the idea of choosing my daughter's birthday. We set an induction appointment for the next Thursday, and I went home praying against it. I didn't want Pitocin again!

In hindsight, this time of waiting was very valuable. All the extra little things I learned in my reading and my prayer time--God really did have the perfect day chosen for us.

The Saturday after my due date passed I woke with contractions that were more intense than what I had been having. I got up to go to the bathroom and I lost my mucous plug. I was thinking that was a good sign that labor was coming within the next few days, but I didn't know if I should let myself get too excited. I woke my husband up to let him know what was going on. I checked the clock and it was 8:52 am. I remembered I had complained to my doula in a phone conversation, “Why is it that labor always seems to start at some crazy hour like 3:00 am.? Why can't labor start at some convenient time like 9:00 in the morning and have the baby that night?” I thought to myself What if this is it? What if I'm having the baby today?

I started to try to get ready for my day and realized I needed to start sounding through the contractions (meaning I had to make sounds to cope with the intensity). I didn't even feel like brushing my teeth through the contractions. I moaned loudly and Ian started asking if I was OK. Hmm. Maybe its time to call Theresa?

As the day went on and the contractions were not letting up, I decided to make preparations to head to the hospital. Our friend Benjamin came over and started washing the dishes and tidying the kitchen (which was huge blessing, considering my fears about coming home to a messy apartment). Ian helped me finish packing bags, making phone calls and loading the car.

There were a series of (God-ordained?) circumstances led us to end up leaving Samson with another Army family from my husband's platoon. We waited for them to pick up Samson, and our neighbors from down the street picked up the dog. We were finally off to the hospital.

I had been timing my contractions all day and they were averaging about 4 minutes apart by the time we climbed in the car. This is considered to be just about the right time to go to the hospital. I kept timing contractions as we headed into town, but they seemed to have slowed (it was about a 20 minute drive). I was worried about my labor stalling or even stopping, so I tried some nipple stimulation. This made the next contractions extremely strong, so I stopped doing that right away! Theresa called my cell phone, and we realized she was at the hospital waiting for us! We got to the hospital at about 4:00 or 5:00 pm, and made our way through the cold rain to the back entrance.

I had called ahead, so the nurses were expecting us. They wanted to put an ID bracelet on me, but the bracelet had my birth date wrong. I can laugh about that now, since that was about the only thing that went wrong. The only other hang up was the fact that I had tested positive for Group B Strep. The nurses hooked me up to an IV to administer antibiotics so we wouldn't pass GBS onto the baby. (Group B Strep is a colonization found in many healthy women, but can sometimes be fatal to their newborn babies). While they were getting this ready and getting me checked in, Theresa massaged my low back and buttocks. I had instructed her and Ian to clog my nervous system with other sensations to block the intensity of the contractions. This type of massage totally fulfilled that request, and she kept doing it at the height of each contraction for most of the rest of the labor until the pushing stage. Her strong hands pushing on my back in just the right spots made it so I felt almost no pain whatsoever until toward the very end of the labor when things got very intense. There was one other main tactic that helped to clog my nervous system with pleasant sensations. I kept asking Ian to kiss me through the contractions. (He is THE BEST husband ever for doing this, because my breath must have been pretty gross after throwing up three times.)

As soon as we got checked in and settled, Theresa ran the water so I could get into the jacuzzi tub. I laughed as I felt the warm water swirling around me. It felt SO good. She left Ian and I alone in the bathroom for a while, but I called her back in to massage me some more. I have no idea how long this went on (time became a blur), but I imagine Theresa must have been exhausted from leaning over that tub to massage me. Ian sat on the edge of the tub supporting me with his words and his touch.

They suggested we listen to some relaxing music/sounds which helped a little during early labor, but I was pretty unaware of it at the end. Having trained my body to relax completely by practicing with a hypnobirthing CD for months really came in handy, especially since I could no longer focus on the words the woman on the CD was saying. Theresa spoke imagery to me about mushroom hunting in Iowa. It kind of helped me go out of myself and out of the hospital for a moment so I could regroup.

At some point I had to get out of the tub. I don't recall what the reason was, but after I got out I spent a bunch of time dancing around the room (while using my arms to hang on the nurse or Theresa or Ian), sitting on the birth ball, and squatting/kneeling. I'm not kidding when I say rocking on ball and kissing Ian felt almost orgasmic. Theresa had brought two pads to kneel on on the floor, which was a Godsend. I just kept changing positions and I did not feel that I wanted to sit down in the bed. I am really glad I learned to speak up for myself after my first birth. I was able to ask my birth assistants for water, Gatorade, and energy gel packs (these are what marathon runners use for a boost). The nurse and both of my birth assistants were so in tune with what needed to happen, and they were at my side from the beginning to the end. Theresa was noticing when I seemed to really lose all my composure and she'd tell me to take a deep breath. I would take a deep breath & try to let my body breathe in relaxation, and that would really help me (at least for a couple minutes). She helped me sound my way through the contractions by making the sounds with me and bringing the sound to the lowest tone my vocal chords are capable of making: a big, long, loud OH-oh. Theresa called it my beautiful birth song (it really was like singing).

Eventually they checked my cervix again, and told me I could end this all very quickly by letting Dr. Dembski sweep the membranes with a gloved finger. This was because my cervix was very open, but my waters hadn't broken. The baby just hadn't quite moved down far enough, but if the water broke she would probably move right down. Laboring with the waters unbroken sort of acts like a cushion making it more comfortable, so the fact it had taken this long was an answer to my prayers. They asked if I wanted to think about for a bit or just send Dr. Dembski in.

I thought about it really fast. I'm getting so tired; do I want to get to the pushing stage soon? “SEND HER IN!”

I don't know how long I labored after she swept the membranes, but it wasn't very long and I started to feel the urge to push. I can't recall who was coming or going or who was saying what. “Transition” made everything extra blurry. I was kneeling on the bed facing away from everyone, and I started making big, throaty groaning sounds like I was Conan the Barbarian or something. They told me to stop making that type of sound, because they were worried about getting a sore throat. Someone helped me bring my sounding to an appropriate level and figure out how to push more effectively. They let me push when I felt like pushing, which was a marked difference from the directed, “purple pushing” I experienced with Samson's birth. Each time I felt like I wanted to push, I let my breath out very slowly, and pushed as hard as I could, but only for as long as I wanted to. No one was telling me to keep “push- push-pushing”. They did make me change positions. I was in a semi-squatting position, but I had to rest on my tailbone. It worked alright, though. I think the pushing stage lasted for about 30 minutes, but it felt like less than that.

When her head crowned, it felt like a big, warm, smooth ball. Her head came out, then her body. I heard them say the cord was wrapped around her neck once (this is common). Very shortly, they handed me my purple, wiggly baby. Being purple is pretty common, but she “pinked up” pretty quickly. At some point someone cut the cord, took her APGAR scores, and used the bulb to suction fluid out of her lungs, but this was all a blur to me. She was born at 9:04 pm and weighed 8 lb. 7 oz. Later, someone told me that one of her hands came out at the same time as her head!

When I was sitting there holding her for the first time, I was suddenly a burst of energy and very talkative, even though I had been exhausted minutes earlier. I was singing and saying all kinds of crazy things, like how her squinty eyes made her look like a little Asian baby. I think I was a little nuts—like how you'd act if you just won the lottery.

Very shortly after birth—I'm not sure how long, but it felt like an instant—I was able to nurse her and she suckled for what seemed like a really long time before they told me it was time to take her to the nursery and me to the recovery room. I didn't mind handing her over, because I was ready to rest. They later brought her to me in the recovery room, Theresa went to sleep in the waiting area, and Ian & I fell asleep around midnight.

The hospital staff took great care of us, being so polite and trying not to wake any of us unless it was really necessary. They were very attentive. I had some little problems like the shakes and some pains and cramps. They helped me with all of that and helped me walk to the bathroom (I did end up taking a little Motrin for the cramping). Each time they took me to the bathroom I'd look up into the mirror and be so pleasantly surprised at how I looked. I felt gorgeous! I didn't have any broken blood vessels in my face—my skin and hair looked radiant!

The delivery nursers at that hospital were so awesome. Sometime the day after Adelynn's birth, one of the labor nurses walked to our recovery room after she got off her shift. She just wanted to check on us and tell me how happy she was for us. Talk about going the extra mile.

While I was disappointed in Samaritan Hospital for not having a lactation consulntant on staff, they were very good about the breastfeeding. No one told me I needed to force her to stay awake and nurse every so many minutes or that I needed to thump her foot if she fell asleep (as they told me when Samson was born).

The family that watched Samson brought him to the hospital for us the afternoon after Adelynn's birth. They were so happy with the experience! Apparently he was no trouble at all. Then, Samson stayed with us in the hospital until we were discharged. I gave him a new Transformers toy, which kept him pretty well occupied. He was very excited about a new baby sister (he hasn't stopped wanting to hug her).

We were all very pleasantly surprised by the hospital food. I'd go back to eat there again!

The pediatrician checked Adelynn a couple of times before we went home. She had had good APGAR scores (8 and 9) and healthy weight. She lost just 2 ounces in three days, which is very healthy. They checked her twice for muscle tone which was good. (This was a concern of mine; Samson had been born with low muscle tone.) No cone-shaped head here!

My parents-in-law and grandma-in-law drove out to stay with us in New York. After we came home from the hospital, I cried for joy every morning and every night for nearly two weeks. Ian said he thought I must have been high, I was SO happy. I felt completely overwhelmed by how well everything went. I felt completely blessed. The family cooked, washed dishes, helped care for Samson, held the baby, and Ian entertained everyone. All I had to do was focus on recovering and taking care of our new little addition.

I felt an extreme closeness to my husband and my Savior during those days following Adelynn's birth. I felt like they both came through for me far beyond what I'd even hoped for or expected. I didn't even have a tear or need to be stitched up! I just kept thanking and praising God in my heart. My husband has been more in-tune with my needs and done even more around the house—served me in ways he never did before. I didn't have a lot of the post-birth problems I'd had with Samson's birth, such as edema, over-producing milk (that was messy!). I did have muscle soreness, of course. Adelynn developed a little baby acne and a short-lived diaper rash.

Overall it was the best birth a woman could have asked for. My most important remarks would be that by the time I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, it was time to push the baby out anyway. So, an epidural would've been pointless. I've heard this time and again from people in the natural birthing community, so I like to encourage women with that information. The whole experience was a resounding testament to God's grace and faithfulness.

I'm going to say here that I'll reserve the right to add/subtract from this essay later.

Cloth Diaper Update

In May of this year (2011) we started using cloth diapers again, and I said I would keep you all updated on how it goes. I'm happy to report that its going better than ever! Two new things that I tried:

1) Imse Vimse liners: toddler size. These liners are generously sized and very durable. They were perfect for Samson! No more messy cleanup with #2! If he didn't soil it (just wet) they could absolutely be reused when they came out of the washing machine!

2) Olive oil. Some of my friends who cloth diaper their little ones recommended trying olive oil for diaper rash as it is safe to use with cloth diapers. Just a couple drops spread thinly worked splendidly! I haven't had to use it much, since Adelynn hasn't had any diaper rash since her first couple weeks. I've been changing her often enough, she usually has no redness.

I've been able to transition to tossing the whole kit and caboodle in the washing machine now. I haven't been needing to use any rash creams. I haven't even been needing the fleece liners lately, but when I do I can put them right in with the rest. Adelynn's exclusively breastfed for now, so her poops wash right out.

I was forced to continue the disposables for Samson at bedtime, since he is such a heavy wetter over the course of the 12 hours he sleeps at night. Happy to report he is doing well wearing underwear during the day, though!

I don't think there was any problem with an allergic reaction to the detergent after all. I realized I am supposed to put a little non-chlorine bleach in the wash with the diapers once a month to ensure there's not a lot of bacteria sticking around. I had used them for several months without bleaching when the problems started to creep in. Its important to have the diapers sanitary! BumGenius or FuzziBunz detergent both seem to be just fine. They're clean enough, the cloths double as burp cloths at our house.

On a side note, the econobum diapers were too big on Adelynn for her first few weeks. When I started using them on her, I used newborn size Proraps for the covers. I can use the econobum covers and cloths now that she's a couple months old. She actually has a lot of problems with "diaper blowouts" and soiling her clothing when I use the disposables. The cloth diapers seems to hold it all in much better.

Words of Encouragement for Labor

I found some more song lyrics that got me really excited about having them read to me while I am in labor. This song is about being astounded by the fact that I am one of God's creations and his Grace.  I printed the lyrics off, and we'll see if I find it soothing at all (or who knows? I may find it annoying, but worth a shot).

“Spirit Speaks” by Know Hope Collective

Your Spirit speaks
It moves in me
And I’m awakened to Your love
You’re drawing me
On to my knees
And I’m astounded by Your love

You spoke life into my lungs
You are the air I breathe
You are the air I breathe
Still You move inside of me
You are the song I sing
You are the song I sing Jesus
You cover me
With arms that reach
And I’m amazed by Your sweet grace
You set me free
And You washed me clean
And I’m forgiven by Your grace

With every breath I breathe
With every song I sing
I want to shout it out
Lord I am listening
To every word You speak
I’ll go where You will lead
To love the least of these
My greatest offering

Cloth Diaper Update

I said I would keep you all posted on how the cloth diapering is going, so here goes!

First, I want to talk about issues related to diaper rash:

1) I now have a stash of fleece liners that I use regularly as a wetness barrier with the econobum cloth diapers. Some of them are the Bummis brand and some are ones I made myself out of scrap fleece. I've discovered that it is best to wash these separately from the cloth diapers, since the job of the liners is not only to protect my son from rash caused by wetness, but also to protect the cloth diaper from any ointments or creams we use. (Rash creams make cloth diapers less absorbent over time. If I wash my liners with the diapers, I am essentially washing the cloth diapers with the rash cream!) I "stripped" the diapers of any rash cream with some good old Dawn, hot water and a stiff brush, so we're back to business as usual.

2) I had been having some problems with leaking that I wasn't before. This has partly been remedied by the stripping I mentioned above. At night, even the "night time Pull-ups" are not enough to hold it all, so I've ended up putting "night time" disposable diapers on him at bedtime.

3) The other thing I noticed is a higher incidence of diaper rash with the BumGenius diaper detergent than the FuzziBunz diaper detergent. I'm wondering if my son may be allergic to something in the BumGenius detergent...? These are the only types of detergent I've tried thus far. Another reason I prefer the FuzziBunz detergent is that the package says it is formulated to work with any water type (we have hard water, which can cause mineral buildup on the diapers over time).

So, between changing him often during the daytime (he's 2 and I change him 5 to 7 times), finding the right detergent, and using the fleece liners, I have noticed a significant decrease in diaper rash.

The other issue is cleaning up poop!

Bowel movements from babies who are exclusively breastfed should wash right out in the washing machine. It is ideal (for your washing cycle and the environment) to put bowel movements from solids-fed babies in the toilet. Samson has adult-like poops that plop right out of the diaper and into the toilet...most of the time. The problems arise when there are days that he has very soft stools! My best solution for this has been to keep a flushable paper liner in the diaper during the time of day I expect him to have a bowel movement (his are fairly predictable). Then, I am able to remove most--if not all--of the stools from the diaper by removing the flushable liner and flushing it. When all else fails, I use a grocery bag over my hand to remove as much of the solids as possible, then throw the grocery bag in the trash.

So that is where we are at now. I will be sure to post another update after the arrival of our newest addition. She's due to arrive any day now!

Hymns for Labor and Birth

I'm sort of in the process of compiling a few songs play during this next birth. Most people know that it is a good idea to try to relax as much as possible during labor, but a birth class instructor once told me that a better word than "relax" would be "surrender". I think I've found the perfect hymn for labor (the refrain, in particular). Hopefully someone will sing this to me... or at least pray the lyrics over me... or at the very least, play the darn track on the CD!

I Surrender All


1.      All to Jesus I surrender; 
        all to him I freely give; 
        I will ever love and trust him, 
        in his presence daily live. 
Refrain:
        I surrender all, I surrender all, 
        all to thee, my blessed Savior, 
        I surrender all. 

2.      All to Jesus I surrender; 
        humbly at his feet I bow, 
        worldly pleasures all forsaken; 
        take me, Jesus, take me now. 
        (Refrain) 

3.      All to Jesus I surrender; 
        make me, Savior, wholly thine; 
        fill me with thy love and power; 
        truly know that thou art mine. 
        (Refrain) 

4.      All to Jesus I surrender; 
        Lord, I give myself to thee; 
        fill me with thy love and power; 
        let thy blessing fall on me. 
        (Refrain) 

5.      All to Jesus I surrender; 
        now I feel the sacred flame. 
        O the joy of full salvation! 
        Glory, glory, to his name! 
        (Refrain) 

During the birth of my son, I had brought some world music to listen to. This turned out to be an awful idea, because the heavy percussion beats were nerve-wracking. This time, I've specifically chosen Jadon Lavik's version of this hymn, because it seemed to be the most relaxing one.

I welcome your comments. What songs did you listen to while in labor? Were you annoyed at the thought of listening to music?

Sample of my Birth Requests for the Hospital

Here it is so far...

This is what we'll be giving to the nurses and midwives. At this point it sounds like the request for vitamin K drops might be out, depending on the pediatrician/availability. I have made a few minor changes to this document since my son was born, and of course, this is always a living document and work-in-progress. Feel free to comment.

Birth Requests Thank you, Samaritan Hospital Team, for helping us make this a special experience!

During Labor and Delivery Please knock before entering the room

Jacuzzi Tub I prefer to labor in the water for as long as possible.

Vaginal Exams Please ask each time before examining me, I am easily startled!

Pitocin, Analgesics and Anesthetics Please DO NOT offer these. We will discuss the need for these with our doula and midwife. We would like a natural childbirth modified only by conditions that directly threaten the health or safety of the mother or child.

IV We would like to avoid the use of an IV, if possible, and prefer to hydrate with electrolyte drinks. If the IV becomes necessary, please allow alternation between glucose and saline.

Monitoring We would like to avoid as much monitoring as possible. Please allow intermittent monitoring so that I may maintain mobility and change positions often. Please allow us to turn the machines and lights down to create a less stressful environment. We may ask to use the Doppler in addition to the fetal monitoring system to gain a more accurate picture of the baby's heart rate.

Natural Progression We would like to allow our labor to progress naturally, without pressure to speed it up for any time constraints, unless there are circumstances that truly threaten the mother or child. I may decide to change positions often and hope the nurses and midwives will facilitate any birthing positions I feel I would like to try.

Episiotomy We would like to avoid an episiotomy with the help of perineal massage, warm compresses, and taking the time to push slowly during key moments.

In Case of Cesarean Epidural. Please suture the layers one at a time. Give Toradol post-op.

Immediately After Delivery We request that the baby's cord be clamped and clipped only after it has stopped pulsating, or at least 2 minutes after delivery. Please place the baby on my chest and allow 45 minutes for nursing and bonding before bathing the baby etc. The father would like to clip the cord.

Routine Tests We ask that our baby not receive Vitamin K shot or eye ointment, please. We would like to request Vitamin K drops as an alternative. Please delay routine testing procedures for 45 minutes, and check with us before they are done.

Circumcision In the event that our baby is a boy and choose to have a circumcision performed during our stay: we would like a non-Gomco clamp circumcision and a local anesthesia applied.

Vaccinations/Medications We would like to waive the erythromyacin ointment.

No Bottles or Pacifiers, please!

I tried to keep this pretty simple, only mentioning the things that were really important to us. The nice thing is that several of the items on here were also questions on the hospital's pre-admission paperwork. Of course we can't know exactly how things will happen. I've removed my midwives', husband's and doula's names for their privacy. It all fits nicely on one page :) I've also written a document with requests for my doula and husband during the labor...but I think I'll wait to post those.