Fun new baby gear: I bought a Johnny-Jump-Up at Target, because they were 20-40 bucks cheaper than the doorway jumpers I had seen online. Samson loves the thing. The only worry is that you are not supposed to leave them in it for more than 30 minutes a day, because over-use will delay the child's development. They use a different set of muscles to stay upright in a jumper or walker etc. than they use to stay upright when walking. I would recommend this product for your baby to have fun and get up off the floor, but not to pacify him/her.
Also, I had a dream last night that Samson up and crawled! I have also had dreams that Samson could speak in clear, correctly conjugated sentences. Maybe I will have to wait a couple more minutes for that to happen.
I just want to randomly throw in here that I went to high school with Jeff Clement from the Mariners.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Running the Household Fairly
Here is a good article about getting the Hubby to help out once in a while. (Personally, I especially liked the bottom of page 2.) Check it out!
Ivan and Marcia’s 3 Keys to a Great Marriage
Ivan and Marcia’s 3 Keys to a Great Marriage
While each marriage is unique and comes with its own trouble spots and highlights, the following are 3 simple principles we agreed to focus on to keep our marriage strong:
1. Communicate.
Become a really good listener carefully listening before you react.
Be sure to communicate as clearly as you can to your spouse about your feelings. Speak the truth lovingly.
Remember communication should be vertical as well as horizontal (something like and equilateral triangle!D); by this we mean that you should spend time in prayer together. You will be surprised at the connection you will make with your spouse’s heart.
2. Prioritize.
Prioritize how you spend your time and resources. Weigh the urgency and importance of everything on your to-do list (and make sure to leave room for things not on your to-do list).
Study your spouse: find out what aspects of life are most important to your spouse, and put those at the top of your list.
3. Date your spouse.
Show your spouse the respect and courtesy you would show to an acquaintance or stranger. Focus on what you like about them, what you have in common -- listening patiently, being slow to anger and quick to forgive & forget.
Be spontaneous. Lavish your love on your spouse.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Be the one to get the pendulum swinging.
Consciously decide to show selflessness, physical affection and verbal appreciation in at least one way each day. (The more ways the better.)
“Love must be sincere. Hate what it is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:9-10).
While each marriage is unique and comes with its own trouble spots and highlights, the following are 3 simple principles we agreed to focus on to keep our marriage strong:
1. Communicate.
Become a really good listener carefully listening before you react.
Be sure to communicate as clearly as you can to your spouse about your feelings. Speak the truth lovingly.
Remember communication should be vertical as well as horizontal (something like and equilateral triangle!D); by this we mean that you should spend time in prayer together. You will be surprised at the connection you will make with your spouse’s heart.
2. Prioritize.
Prioritize how you spend your time and resources. Weigh the urgency and importance of everything on your to-do list (and make sure to leave room for things not on your to-do list).
Study your spouse: find out what aspects of life are most important to your spouse, and put those at the top of your list.
3. Date your spouse.
Show your spouse the respect and courtesy you would show to an acquaintance or stranger. Focus on what you like about them, what you have in common -- listening patiently, being slow to anger and quick to forgive & forget.
Be spontaneous. Lavish your love on your spouse.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Be the one to get the pendulum swinging.
Consciously decide to show selflessness, physical affection and verbal appreciation in at least one way each day. (The more ways the better.)
“Love must be sincere. Hate what it is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:9-10).
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Artist
Check out "The Art of Asbestos." I like this artist a lot. While his/her stuff is very typical of modern art and graffiti art, I still had a lot of fun flipping through this site. Check out the Wheat-pasting, Graffiti, Ice sculptures and even some "Found-object-returned" art.
Thoughts on My Marriage: Part 3
At the risk of sounding pompous, I believe my relationship with Ivan is special.
There is something about the dynamic between us--our attitude towards our marriage--that I feel is lacking in most marriages today. It is something I cannot quite wrap my words around.
It transcends sex
and financial security
and family
and playing house
and being best friends
and love
and having babies
and societal obligations
and moral obligations
and all the good stuff
(and the messy stuff) we associate with marriage.
There is something about our covenant between Me and Ivan and God that transcends all that stuff and I don't quite know how to describe it. I know that some of you out there will know exactly what I mean. Can anyone help me out on this?
It is not to say that other people take marriage too lightly; most people don't. There is just something extra there that I am not quite convinced I have seen in a lot of the relationships around me. And it makes that relationship the most important thing I have on this earth.
There is something about the dynamic between us--our attitude towards our marriage--that I feel is lacking in most marriages today. It is something I cannot quite wrap my words around.
It transcends sex
and financial security
and family
and playing house
and being best friends
and love
and having babies
and societal obligations
and moral obligations
and all the good stuff
(and the messy stuff) we associate with marriage.
There is something about our covenant between Me and Ivan and God that transcends all that stuff and I don't quite know how to describe it. I know that some of you out there will know exactly what I mean. Can anyone help me out on this?
It is not to say that other people take marriage too lightly; most people don't. There is just something extra there that I am not quite convinced I have seen in a lot of the relationships around me. And it makes that relationship the most important thing I have on this earth.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Shoes
I really like these Andrew Gellar shoes from DSW for about $50. They are very comfortable and have just the right heel height. Go with anything!
A few weeks back Ivan took me to the scout store. I discovered that they have a lot of cool craft kits. I bought the moccasin kit. They are precut to fit your shoe size and come with everything you need! These were fun to make, but the instructions weren't very clear.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Baby's First Year Doesn't Cost as Much as You Think!
While babycenter.com's cost calculator estimated that it should cost us around $9,000 to raise our child for the first year, I think that is a gross over-estimate for us.
For my husband and me, the only real costs so far are that he hasn't been working part time (which honestly didn't earn a ton of moolah anyhow), the fact that I chose to take 3 months off, diapers & wipes, and the occasional babysitter (which is sometimes free). Samson's birth was covered by my insurance. My husband does daycare, my breastpump was a gently-used hand-me-down (which means Samson's food has been free thus far), and everything else was a gift.
It is amazing how the Lord has provided. Family, friends and even a bunch of people I had never met came to fill our needs with baskets-full of clothes, baby gear, blankets, and everything we have needed. I even had to give some away, because there wasn't room to store it. I wrote right around One hundred thank-you notes to all the people who gave gifts for my baby. This has really allowed me to spend some money on more of the "want" items rather than more of the "need" items.
If I hadn't taken those extra weeks off work, and if I hadn't bought those "want" baby items, I think we would easily get away with spending under $1,000 on Samson's first six months.
P.S. If you are reading this and wondering where your thank-you is, I promise its on the way!
For my husband and me, the only real costs so far are that he hasn't been working part time (which honestly didn't earn a ton of moolah anyhow), the fact that I chose to take 3 months off, diapers & wipes, and the occasional babysitter (which is sometimes free). Samson's birth was covered by my insurance. My husband does daycare, my breastpump was a gently-used hand-me-down (which means Samson's food has been free thus far), and everything else was a gift.
It is amazing how the Lord has provided. Family, friends and even a bunch of people I had never met came to fill our needs with baskets-full of clothes, baby gear, blankets, and everything we have needed. I even had to give some away, because there wasn't room to store it. I wrote right around One hundred thank-you notes to all the people who gave gifts for my baby. This has really allowed me to spend some money on more of the "want" items rather than more of the "need" items.
If I hadn't taken those extra weeks off work, and if I hadn't bought those "want" baby items, I think we would easily get away with spending under $1,000 on Samson's first six months.
P.S. If you are reading this and wondering where your thank-you is, I promise its on the way!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Thoughts on My Marriage: Part 2; The Mystery of Love
Have you ever been in a bad romantic relationship or had a "failed relationship"?
I am little obsessed with the idea lately.
If you have been following my posts and links on Facebook or my blog, you probably get the message by now that I have been feeling extremely depressed about the state of relationships and marriage in our society. The reasons are many and multi-faceted (and maybe its a little bit because my own relationship is admittedly imperfect). My heart has been heavy-laden with the weight of thinking about sexual sin and the impact of parents' relationships with each other on their children.
I am no expert--I have only been married 4 years! But I think if there is one thing that has kept our marriage strong it is that I always have this sense of commitment and this sense of hope...hope that if we are going through a rough time, we will get through it. Most of the time marriage is a great thing, but you wake up some mornings and you don't feel like loving the person next to you. You decide to do it anyway. You go through seasons that are not filled with passion...occasionally you even go through seasons that are filled with flat-out disdain. But you stick to your commitment, because you made a promise.
The mystery of love is the great mystery of life. I believe to love someone is a choice. You choose to make sacrifices for a person no matter how much they bug you or how messy it gets. And you know what? It pays off. The feelings follow the actions. And the actions are reciprocated. This is not to say that you should love out of expectation for reciprocity, rather you should love knowing that you will reap blessings one way or another. That's part of the mystery.
If you are a follower of Christ, he calls you to love your neighbor, strangers, even your enemies. Love the people that may never show you mercy.
I would venture to say it can be the most difficult thing in a person's life when the person you are trying to love won't love you back. What do you do? (No really, I am asking. What do you do? I would like to know.)
When I am struggling with loving my neighbor, it helps to consider Christ's great love for me. I have rebelled against him, cursed him to his face, hated his followers, and broken my promises to him. I am an adulterer in his eyes.
Yet, he loves me.
The mystery of my relationship with my husband
is that it is more than your average American marriage. Stay tuned for Part 3!
(For those of you reading this on blogger, here is excerpt from 'Thoughts on My Marriage: Part1'
"Ivan and I balance each other in a lot of ways. Its never a perfect balance, but its a balance that blesses us and challenges us. If Ivan didn't have me, he would walk around in the same pants for two weeks and he would be late for everything. If I didn't have Ivan I wouldn't have as much confidence. If Ivan didn't have me he would play an unhealthy amount of video games. If I didn't have Ivan, I would be incredibly bored and my life would be a waste")
I am little obsessed with the idea lately.
If you have been following my posts and links on Facebook or my blog, you probably get the message by now that I have been feeling extremely depressed about the state of relationships and marriage in our society. The reasons are many and multi-faceted (and maybe its a little bit because my own relationship is admittedly imperfect). My heart has been heavy-laden with the weight of thinking about sexual sin and the impact of parents' relationships with each other on their children.
I am no expert--I have only been married 4 years! But I think if there is one thing that has kept our marriage strong it is that I always have this sense of commitment and this sense of hope...hope that if we are going through a rough time, we will get through it. Most of the time marriage is a great thing, but you wake up some mornings and you don't feel like loving the person next to you. You decide to do it anyway. You go through seasons that are not filled with passion...occasionally you even go through seasons that are filled with flat-out disdain. But you stick to your commitment, because you made a promise.
The mystery of love is the great mystery of life. I believe to love someone is a choice. You choose to make sacrifices for a person no matter how much they bug you or how messy it gets. And you know what? It pays off. The feelings follow the actions. And the actions are reciprocated. This is not to say that you should love out of expectation for reciprocity, rather you should love knowing that you will reap blessings one way or another. That's part of the mystery.
If you are a follower of Christ, he calls you to love your neighbor, strangers, even your enemies. Love the people that may never show you mercy.
I would venture to say it can be the most difficult thing in a person's life when the person you are trying to love won't love you back. What do you do? (No really, I am asking. What do you do? I would like to know.)
When I am struggling with loving my neighbor, it helps to consider Christ's great love for me. I have rebelled against him, cursed him to his face, hated his followers, and broken my promises to him. I am an adulterer in his eyes.
Yet, he loves me.
The mystery of my relationship with my husband
is that it is more than your average American marriage. Stay tuned for Part 3!
(For those of you reading this on blogger, here is excerpt from 'Thoughts on My Marriage: Part1'
"Ivan and I balance each other in a lot of ways. Its never a perfect balance, but its a balance that blesses us and challenges us. If Ivan didn't have me, he would walk around in the same pants for two weeks and he would be late for everything. If I didn't have Ivan I wouldn't have as much confidence. If Ivan didn't have me he would play an unhealthy amount of video games. If I didn't have Ivan, I would be incredibly bored and my life would be a waste")
Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles
Read the article.
This is sort of a scholarly treatise on marriage and how advantageous it is to both society as a whole and to the individual.
I think marriage is incredibly important; the lack of commitment I see in all types of relationships around me is heartbreaking.
What do you think about divorce? Cohabitation? The abundance and acceptance of premarital sexual relations? Please comment.
This is sort of a scholarly treatise on marriage and how advantageous it is to both society as a whole and to the individual.
I think marriage is incredibly important; the lack of commitment I see in all types of relationships around me is heartbreaking.
What do you think about divorce? Cohabitation? The abundance and acceptance of premarital sexual relations? Please comment.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Beautiful Piece of Prose on Purity
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/life/17168-the-purity-puzzle
I loved reading this. This whole idea of marriage and sexual purity has really been on my mind lately. God is impressing something new upon my heart: what can I do to improve the state of relationships and families in our nation?
I loved reading this. This whole idea of marriage and sexual purity has really been on my mind lately. God is impressing something new upon my heart: what can I do to improve the state of relationships and families in our nation?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Marcia's Nursing-moms-to-be Toolkit
For all those mommies-to-be out there and those who are already nursing, here is my best advice:
1. Buy a copy of "The Nursing Mother's Companion". This has nearly everything you need to know about breastfeeding, pumping, weaning etc.
2. Let those babies air-dry for a few minutes after each feeding to prevent soreness.
3. Buy Lansinoh lanolin and put it on (after drying) after each feeding.
4. Early on, you'll need to switch positions from feeding to feeding to prevent soreness.
5. Buy LOTS of burp cloths. Cloth diapers make amazing burp cloths.
6. Buy NURSING TANKS instead of nursing bras. They hide the tummy and back when you pull up your shirt, or you can wear them without a shirt. You could also use the bella band you wore during pregnancy to hide your tummy, or buy clothes that can be pulled to the side to nurse. (lots of cute stuff for this purpose at maternity stores.)
7. Use Johnson's brand or Avent brand nursing pads. The liners aren't made of itchy, non-breathing plastic. Re-usable cloth nursing pads work if you don't leak a lot and can find time to wash them!
8. If you can stay awake without it, don't watch TV while nursing once the baby starts sleeping through the night. The noise and distraction will keep baby awake.
9. Keep baby from having painful gas by burping every 10 minutes during a feeding and immediately after.
10. Create a "Nursing Tote" for around the house so you can easily move from room to room. Fill it with burp cloths, a bottle of drinking water, nursing pads, wipes (for keeping your hands clean), a watch, your prenatal vitamins (so you remember to take them), the TV remote, and a book to read. Trust me, you don't want to ask hubby to bring you every little thing once you get sat down. Refill often.
11. Don't start bottles until baby is at least 4 weeks old (to establish good breastfeeding bond and prevent confusion). You can still use the pump in the meantime to boost milk production (though I never felt the need) and freeze or throw out the milk.
12. Hold baby in proper position so you don't make his neck or back sore over time!
13. If baby is very fussy at the breast, try to figure out why and try again in 20 minutes.
14. Enjoy your baby!
1. Buy a copy of "The Nursing Mother's Companion". This has nearly everything you need to know about breastfeeding, pumping, weaning etc.
2. Let those babies air-dry for a few minutes after each feeding to prevent soreness.
3. Buy Lansinoh lanolin and put it on (after drying) after each feeding.
4. Early on, you'll need to switch positions from feeding to feeding to prevent soreness.
5. Buy LOTS of burp cloths. Cloth diapers make amazing burp cloths.
6. Buy NURSING TANKS instead of nursing bras. They hide the tummy and back when you pull up your shirt, or you can wear them without a shirt. You could also use the bella band you wore during pregnancy to hide your tummy, or buy clothes that can be pulled to the side to nurse. (lots of cute stuff for this purpose at maternity stores.)
7. Use Johnson's brand or Avent brand nursing pads. The liners aren't made of itchy, non-breathing plastic. Re-usable cloth nursing pads work if you don't leak a lot and can find time to wash them!
8. If you can stay awake without it, don't watch TV while nursing once the baby starts sleeping through the night. The noise and distraction will keep baby awake.
9. Keep baby from having painful gas by burping every 10 minutes during a feeding and immediately after.
10. Create a "Nursing Tote" for around the house so you can easily move from room to room. Fill it with burp cloths, a bottle of drinking water, nursing pads, wipes (for keeping your hands clean), a watch, your prenatal vitamins (so you remember to take them), the TV remote, and a book to read. Trust me, you don't want to ask hubby to bring you every little thing once you get sat down. Refill often.
11. Don't start bottles until baby is at least 4 weeks old (to establish good breastfeeding bond and prevent confusion). You can still use the pump in the meantime to boost milk production (though I never felt the need) and freeze or throw out the milk.
12. Hold baby in proper position so you don't make his neck or back sore over time!
13. If baby is very fussy at the breast, try to figure out why and try again in 20 minutes.
14. Enjoy your baby!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Comfortable shoes
I decided its finally time to start wearing comfortable shoes. Not expensive shoes or cheap shoes or sexy shoes. Comfortable shoes. Ever since I have been old enough to chose my own shoes, I have based my shoe choices on two things: are they cute? are they cheap? Not anymore. I woke up yesterday morning and thought to myself: I am a mom now. I carry around an extra 16 pounds of baby all day. Its time to invest in comfortable, stylish, durable shoes.
Fortunately I knew that the shoe designers that are known for making old-lady type shoes for comfort have started to produce some styles for us younger women as well. I set off on a walk toward Old Town Pasadena where the DSW shoe store is. I have walked through it a bunch of times, but never actually purchased anything. Boy, was I surprised when I started looking at the prices! They sell $500.00 flip flops and jelly shoes!!!
Okay, so they do have reasonably-priced shoes for average people as well, but I was pretty impressed that people are dumb enough to pay that much for a pair of jelly shoes.
I haven't found my new comfy, stylish mom shoes yet, but I will keep you updated.
Fortunately I knew that the shoe designers that are known for making old-lady type shoes for comfort have started to produce some styles for us younger women as well. I set off on a walk toward Old Town Pasadena where the DSW shoe store is. I have walked through it a bunch of times, but never actually purchased anything. Boy, was I surprised when I started looking at the prices! They sell $500.00 flip flops and jelly shoes!!!
Okay, so they do have reasonably-priced shoes for average people as well, but I was pretty impressed that people are dumb enough to pay that much for a pair of jelly shoes.
I haven't found my new comfy, stylish mom shoes yet, but I will keep you updated.
The most ridiculous product I have ever purchased
I recently purchased the best IDEA for a baby carrier ever. I ended up returning it, because it wasn't comfy enough for me, but while it was in my possession I was pretty much amazed. Its called the Snugli Serenade Vibra. I got it on Walmart.com for about $58. This baby carrier has gel padding in the straps. It has a lumbar support pad that--get this--vibrates. That's right, the baby carrier actually massages your back as you wear it. It also has multiple pockets, vents that zip or unzip when things get sweaty, pouches to store the extra lengths of straps in and a CUPHOLDER! The funniest thing is that there is a little button you press and it will play lullabies for your baby. You can wear the carrier on your chest with baby facing in or out, or you can wear baby on either hip. This is one of the few baby carriers of its type that can even be used as a back carrier (Where baby faces the back of your head). I don't recommend this product, because it isn't very cushy and it can get pretty hot for baby, but I had to share it with you all!
I ended up buying a Moby wrap instead. It can be worn all the ways the snugli can (and more) and it really distributes the baby's weight across your entire back. It also holds the baby in more of a "sitting" position, which is better for their spine. http://www.mobywrap.com/
Even comes in a UV protection version.
I ended up buying a Moby wrap instead. It can be worn all the ways the snugli can (and more) and it really distributes the baby's weight across your entire back. It also holds the baby in more of a "sitting" position, which is better for their spine. http://www.mobywrap.com/
Even comes in a UV protection version.
Monday, April 13, 2009
The Birth of Samson Leigh Hyde
2/8/09
Born 11:29 am, Sunday, February 1, 2009
8 Lb. 5 oz. and 20 in. long
WARNING: Icky details
When I became pregnant, some of the prophetic people around me seemed to know that I was pregnant before I did. When I started telling people that I found out I was pregnant I learned that others around me had already been having dreams about it. I took this as a sign that this was the blessing God had been telling me he would send one day. I sensed the call to motherhood since I first got married. God was with me in this every step of the way. There seemed to be another prophecy over me from the Godly people in my life, too: I would have a son.
My due date was set to be Sunday, February 8, 2009, but 3 weeks prior I began to feel impatient for the baby to come – partly because I wanted to meet him and partly because I wanted to be able to spend as much time with my husband (Ivan) and baby before Ivan shipped off to army training. I began walking a lot more than I had been throughout my pregnancy. Walking is supposed to help bring the baby downward and into the right position.
On Friday, January 30, more than a week before my due date, I began to feel more uncomfortable contractions, but still so mild that I knew it would be a while. That night I took a walk to the park and did several flights of stairs at a parking garage along the way. I did some squatting and felt a gush of amniotic fluid around 7:30 pm. I thought it might just be my mucous plug coming out, so I basically ignored it. I did some more squats that evening and had more gushing. I realized maybe my water had broken, which was a little surprising for me since I knew how rarely the break of amniotic fluid actually marks the start of labor. I called my doula, Linda, to let her know what had happened. She suggested we call my birth class instructor. I got her voicemail. Ivan came home from work and we went to buy frozen dinners at Target.
I debated about whether to call my OB, Dr. Grady, since I knew that (under normal circumstances) there was no need to go to the hospital until my contractions were much stronger. At this point my contractions were coming more frequently, but still barely noticeable. I called the doctor’s office and the doctor-on-call called me back insisting that I come to the hospital at once. I wanted to stay home and sleep and I did not want the doctor-on-call to deliver my baby. I wanted MY OB to deliver the baby. Ivan and I sat in the car ready to take off for the hospital when I spoke on the phone with my birth class instructor. I ended up deciding we could stay home until Saturday morning. That way, maybe Dr. Grady would be available. I also knew that doctors and midwives never want to delay the labor and birth beyond 48 hours after the waters break, due to increased risk of infection for mother and baby. I sent Ivan to buy some castor oil and slept. My birth class instructor expected the castor oil to kick labor into gear within 4 hours, but it didn’t.
We arrived at the hospital around 6:30 am on Saturday, January 31. A nurse promptly reviewed our birth requests and told us how “wrong” and “non-sensical” they were, even though my OB had already approved them. We wanted as natural of a birth as possible. This nurse flatly told me that the reality of the thing is that it wouldn’t happen. Surely I would need an epidural.
My contractions were still quite mild, so Ivan, Linda, and I walked around the halls and in the outdoor garden hoping to speed things up. We did stairs again and again and again. There were landscapers out in the garden about to plant some flowers. There was a tray of orange mums that had just one single flower on the whole tray. It was unopened. I kept the mental imagery in my mind of myself opening up like a flower. My cervix had stayed at 2 cm for some time, so I pictured a tight rosebud loosening and becoming a huge, open rose.
The day seemed very slow and very boring. We walked and walked. We walked to the cafeteria and picked up some food. When we returned, the nurses scolded me and told me I could not eat anything since I would throw it up during labor. How was I going to have energy for the marathon if I couldn’t eat? I asked Dr. Grady and he allowed me to eat as I pleased until the labor became more difficult. I was very glad for this later on, since vomiting during a contraction distracted me from the pain.
Linda prayed for me all throughout the day, but progress was slow. She prayed that things would open up and she prayed for our little family. She prayed for that sour nurse, and it worked (she sweetened up right away). She prayed for my labor and all my anxieties. During an afternoon walk in the garden I saw that that single mum had opened almost all the way, but not quite. Linda picked it and I carried it around for a while. She later forced it to open all the way. What a metaphor that would turn out to be! We spent the entire day getting into different positions, resting, walking, and trying to move things along.
Around 1 or 1:30 am on Sunday, February 1 we went over our options again with the nurses and with Dr. Grady. Since contractions were not coming fast enough and strong enough on their own, they administered pitocin through an IV. From what I understand, pitocin is the hormone that makes labor happen, but in its synthetic form, it makes the contractions more intense and more painful. Boy, did it ever!
After they got my dosage to a point that the contractions were coming every 2 or 3 minutes and they were truly painful, everything gets a bit blurry. I know that at one point they turned the dosage down and I noticed relief in my pain. The contractions slowed, so they increased the pitocin again. When they administered pitocin, they required that I stay on the monitors constantly (which were strapped to my belly). This really limited my positions. Every time I changed positions the monitor would lose track of the baby’s heartbeat. To use the restroom, I had to be unplugged and wheel my IV across the room every hour. Initially I would close the door behind me each time, but when I was in the throes of labor, my legs were too shaky and I really lost all sense of decency.
I remember at one point we discussed the option of the epidural again and I was seriously considering it in my mind. A little bit of stubbornness and the thought of pushing without being able to feel what I was pushing on made me think twice. Maybe it was just due to the fact that I was in so much pain and could barely verbalize anything. Either way, I did not get any pain reliever. At a couple of points they had me lie on my left side, because I was having back pain. They thought the baby might have turned the wrong direction. The change of positions also helped move back the lip that had developed on my cervix around one side of the baby’s head. Dr. Grady said all the pain should be low in my pelvis. Eventually it was.
Dr. Grady said to let the nurses know if I felt any urge to push. Everything in me had the desire to push, because I wanted the labor to be over so badly, but I didn’t need to push yet. The pain was so intense and I wanted it to be all over so many times! Each time after I went to the bathroom I would have to get on the floor on all fours or I would wrap my arms around Ivan and hang on him. While I was in the bed I would ask Linda to speak soothing imagery to me and I would stare into Ivan’s face. Linda talked about the ocean and about a garden and I would try to picture it in my mind. I would imagine that I felt very comfortable, and I almost did. During some of the contractions we took my mom’s advice, and we would say the Lord’s Prayer. I couldn’t remember the words and I could barely annunciate them, but it helped to have something to DO, rather than just let the pain happen to me. During some of the contractions Linda would just pray thanking the Lord. She kept saying “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.” I remember being angry that she would not say anything about WHAT we were thankful for. All I could think of was the pain and I was not feeling especially thankful for that. Probably the most helpful thing was when they would tell me I only had thirty seconds left on that contraction. Immediately I would start to feel better.
When it came time to push, I remembered what my birth class instructor had said about how most women like this part of labor. While I was extremely exhausted at that point and didn’t want to keep going, it did feel good to push through the contractions. At the start of a contraction I would make sounds and everyone knew it was time to help me push. Linda and Ivan were on either side of me, each with a thigh in hand, aiding me to open up. The nurses would guide me through 3 ten-second-long pushes during each contraction. They kept telling me to push into my butt, like I had to make a big poop. They wheeled a huge mirror over (even though I said I didn’t want to see) so I could see the baby’s head moving down. This encouraged me to keep going. Also, the fact that I wanted it all to be over gave me strength to push harder. When I looked in the mirror, I could see that everything down there was swollen to a point that I was horrified, but knew it was normal. Apparently this went on for about an hour and a half , and Dr. Grady showed up at some point to guide me and catch the baby.
When the baby finally came out, it felt very wiggly for a few seconds. I felt every curve of his shoulders down to his feet come out of me. The baby was all purple and not moving until Dr. Grady gave him a rub. Dr. Grady moved the cord and put the baby on my chest for a few minutes. I didn’t know what to do with him. I delivered the placenta, and I asked Dr. Grady if I could see it. He grabbed the cord and lifted it up to show me. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I was surprised how skinny the umbilical cord looked.
I wanted to nurse the baby, but they took him away for a minute to do his Apgar scores, clamp his cord etc. I got to nurse him right away, but it I think it was pretty short-lived. Though Linda had pushed us to name the baby before his arrival, we waited to look at him. Ivan and I discussed the name again, and I vetoed Conan. We named him Samson Leigh. Leigh is one of Ivan’s middle names. We still accidentally called him Conan during the first couple days.
Throughout the entire ordeal, Samson was such a trooper! His heart rate remained steady and strong through the whole labor. The hospital staff were great and the hospital was really nice. I got a huge labor room, which felt very comfortable. A few hours after the birth, they moved me to a smaller, but equally comfortable recovery room, where Ivan, the baby, and I roomed for about 2 and a half days, being waited on hand-and-foot. The nurses helped me clean myself up and gave me perineal ice packs, ibuprofen, and stool softeners every few hours during those days. By Tuesday afternoon, I wanted to go home.
Recently a friend whom I have not had contact with in about a year, contacted me to let me know that the Lord had awoken her in the middle of the night with the desire to pray for Ivan and me. She thought it was around the day that I gave birth. I am sure that that was God giving me the strength I needed, and now I have such a cool story to tell about how He was with us.
Notes
1 Ivan is training to be an army officer, probably infantry.
2 The best position for the baby to come out is if he is head-downward and facing the mother’s tailbone.
3 “Water breaking” doesn’t always come all at once. Sometimes it comes out as a leak.
4 It is well documented that the cervix works like any sphincter: you have to relax for it to open! One’s mind has quite a bit of control over the process.
5 It was Superbowl Sunday
6 My labor was as painful as it could possibly be!
7 Timing of contractions is from the beginning of one to the beginning of the next.
9 In between the contractions, I felt almost normal.
10 It didn’t seem like an hour and a half to me. It seemed shorter.
12 We had decided it would either be Conan, Samson, or Solomon.
13 The strangest rule in the hospital was that you couldn't walk the halls with your baby in arms. You could only hold the baby while sitting in a wheelchair or push the baby in the bassinet.
Here is an excerpt from an email I receieved from the wonderfully helpful doula that attended Samson's birth:
"I arrived at the hospital early in the morning and Marcia was very anxious for labor to get started. She knew walking would help. She put on her beautiful, silky robe and we started walking the stairs. There was a lot of construction going on at the hospital and I was not happy to see an extension cord across the path. At one point in the morning an older man came by and tried to get the cords out of the way. He was a very friendly older man and told us about his kids and grandkids. The morning was beautiful and very warm. It got too warm and we went back inside. I am a very talkative person, but Marcia seems more comfortable with silence.
Marcia did not like the nurse named Linda. She was not a kind nurse. She was everything you do not want your nurse to be. When I walked in that morning she was lecturing Marcia that "you are not helpless today. You need to do things for yourself." That night we had a nurse named Daval. She was one of the sweetest people. Just the kind of nurse you want. Daval decided she would not check Marcia. She knew the Dr. would show up some time in the morning. She had natural births herself and was very impressed with Marcia's ability to cope.
I was very impressed with the team work between Marcia and Ivan. They were truly in this together. He wanted to do anything that would help. She was able to say what she needed. She got tired of getting up and down to the bathroom, but moving around kept her labor progressing. When Marcia was not having a contraction she usually fell asleep.
She was such a trouper. I tried to "pray without ceasing," Marcia had a lot of help from heaven that night. I talked with an OB recently who has delivered babies for 20 years. She can think of less then 10 women over that 20 years who managed a natural birth with pitocin. Marcia has a very high tolerance for pain.
At one point as she was pushing Ivan wiped her head with a cool cloth and Marcia says, "Thank you Ivan." We all gave a chuckle at the sweet interaction. Even in pain, Marcia was thinking of Ivan.
I felt like I battled all night in the spirit for the future children of Marcia and Ivan. If morning came and there was no progress they would insist on a c-section. A c-section will limit the number of children you can have. I prayed all night, "Lord, when the Dr. checks her, let her be at a 9." When I went out for breakfast at 8 am the nurse Linda pulled me aside and said, 'Dr. Grady probably won't be here until the afternoon and she probably has not made any more progress all night. You should try to talk them into an epidural." I went to get breakfast, and prayed all the way there and back for wisdom. When I got back, Dr. Grady was there and when he checked her she was a 9. Even then they wanted her to have the epidural. It is all about money to them.
I was very interesting to me how much it helped to have a story to visualize. This was the gist of the beach story that I told to Marcia.
You are standing on a beach. Ivan is there with you. He is standing right behind you and you are leaning into him. The waves are wild and crazy and they crash into you and cover you, but they flow over you and recede. They are already receding and they are taking all your troubles with them.
The sun is going down and it is making a golden road on the water. Your boy is walking that golden road to you. You are a bird and you are flying down to him. You are telling him how happy you are that he is coming to you. You are giving him encouragement to come quickly. You are telling him how excited you are to be with him. You can't wait to hold him in your arms.
The sun going down is a picture of your childhood. The sun is setting and your childhood is setting. You are no longer the child. You are the mother and you are ready for this. You have prepared and you are ready to welcome this sweet baby into your arms and your family.
Ivan and Marcia, thank you so much for letting me share the birth with you. I know it is not easy to allow a stranger into the most intimate of experiences. I learned so much while sharing this with you. And I have a wonderful story to tell all the people who attend my classes. I'll tell them about the 2 Sam's. One with an epidural and one with pitocin. You are a hero in my eyes. God bless your mothering and give you wisdom and strength in the middle of every challenges.
Blessings, Linda"
Born 11:29 am, Sunday, February 1, 2009
8 Lb. 5 oz. and 20 in. long
WARNING: Icky details
When I became pregnant, some of the prophetic people around me seemed to know that I was pregnant before I did. When I started telling people that I found out I was pregnant I learned that others around me had already been having dreams about it. I took this as a sign that this was the blessing God had been telling me he would send one day. I sensed the call to motherhood since I first got married. God was with me in this every step of the way. There seemed to be another prophecy over me from the Godly people in my life, too: I would have a son.
My due date was set to be Sunday, February 8, 2009, but 3 weeks prior I began to feel impatient for the baby to come – partly because I wanted to meet him and partly because I wanted to be able to spend as much time with my husband (Ivan) and baby before Ivan shipped off to army training. I began walking a lot more than I had been throughout my pregnancy. Walking is supposed to help bring the baby downward and into the right position.
On Friday, January 30, more than a week before my due date, I began to feel more uncomfortable contractions, but still so mild that I knew it would be a while. That night I took a walk to the park and did several flights of stairs at a parking garage along the way. I did some squatting and felt a gush of amniotic fluid around 7:30 pm. I thought it might just be my mucous plug coming out, so I basically ignored it. I did some more squats that evening and had more gushing. I realized maybe my water had broken, which was a little surprising for me since I knew how rarely the break of amniotic fluid actually marks the start of labor. I called my doula, Linda, to let her know what had happened. She suggested we call my birth class instructor. I got her voicemail. Ivan came home from work and we went to buy frozen dinners at Target.
I debated about whether to call my OB, Dr. Grady, since I knew that (under normal circumstances) there was no need to go to the hospital until my contractions were much stronger. At this point my contractions were coming more frequently, but still barely noticeable. I called the doctor’s office and the doctor-on-call called me back insisting that I come to the hospital at once. I wanted to stay home and sleep and I did not want the doctor-on-call to deliver my baby. I wanted MY OB to deliver the baby. Ivan and I sat in the car ready to take off for the hospital when I spoke on the phone with my birth class instructor. I ended up deciding we could stay home until Saturday morning. That way, maybe Dr. Grady would be available. I also knew that doctors and midwives never want to delay the labor and birth beyond 48 hours after the waters break, due to increased risk of infection for mother and baby. I sent Ivan to buy some castor oil and slept. My birth class instructor expected the castor oil to kick labor into gear within 4 hours, but it didn’t.
We arrived at the hospital around 6:30 am on Saturday, January 31. A nurse promptly reviewed our birth requests and told us how “wrong” and “non-sensical” they were, even though my OB had already approved them. We wanted as natural of a birth as possible. This nurse flatly told me that the reality of the thing is that it wouldn’t happen. Surely I would need an epidural.
My contractions were still quite mild, so Ivan, Linda, and I walked around the halls and in the outdoor garden hoping to speed things up. We did stairs again and again and again. There were landscapers out in the garden about to plant some flowers. There was a tray of orange mums that had just one single flower on the whole tray. It was unopened. I kept the mental imagery in my mind of myself opening up like a flower. My cervix had stayed at 2 cm for some time, so I pictured a tight rosebud loosening and becoming a huge, open rose.
The day seemed very slow and very boring. We walked and walked. We walked to the cafeteria and picked up some food. When we returned, the nurses scolded me and told me I could not eat anything since I would throw it up during labor. How was I going to have energy for the marathon if I couldn’t eat? I asked Dr. Grady and he allowed me to eat as I pleased until the labor became more difficult. I was very glad for this later on, since vomiting during a contraction distracted me from the pain.
Linda prayed for me all throughout the day, but progress was slow. She prayed that things would open up and she prayed for our little family. She prayed for that sour nurse, and it worked (she sweetened up right away). She prayed for my labor and all my anxieties. During an afternoon walk in the garden I saw that that single mum had opened almost all the way, but not quite. Linda picked it and I carried it around for a while. She later forced it to open all the way. What a metaphor that would turn out to be! We spent the entire day getting into different positions, resting, walking, and trying to move things along.
Around 1 or 1:30 am on Sunday, February 1 we went over our options again with the nurses and with Dr. Grady. Since contractions were not coming fast enough and strong enough on their own, they administered pitocin through an IV. From what I understand, pitocin is the hormone that makes labor happen, but in its synthetic form, it makes the contractions more intense and more painful. Boy, did it ever!
After they got my dosage to a point that the contractions were coming every 2 or 3 minutes and they were truly painful, everything gets a bit blurry. I know that at one point they turned the dosage down and I noticed relief in my pain. The contractions slowed, so they increased the pitocin again. When they administered pitocin, they required that I stay on the monitors constantly (which were strapped to my belly). This really limited my positions. Every time I changed positions the monitor would lose track of the baby’s heartbeat. To use the restroom, I had to be unplugged and wheel my IV across the room every hour. Initially I would close the door behind me each time, but when I was in the throes of labor, my legs were too shaky and I really lost all sense of decency.
I remember at one point we discussed the option of the epidural again and I was seriously considering it in my mind. A little bit of stubbornness and the thought of pushing without being able to feel what I was pushing on made me think twice. Maybe it was just due to the fact that I was in so much pain and could barely verbalize anything. Either way, I did not get any pain reliever. At a couple of points they had me lie on my left side, because I was having back pain. They thought the baby might have turned the wrong direction. The change of positions also helped move back the lip that had developed on my cervix around one side of the baby’s head. Dr. Grady said all the pain should be low in my pelvis. Eventually it was.
Dr. Grady said to let the nurses know if I felt any urge to push. Everything in me had the desire to push, because I wanted the labor to be over so badly, but I didn’t need to push yet. The pain was so intense and I wanted it to be all over so many times! Each time after I went to the bathroom I would have to get on the floor on all fours or I would wrap my arms around Ivan and hang on him. While I was in the bed I would ask Linda to speak soothing imagery to me and I would stare into Ivan’s face. Linda talked about the ocean and about a garden and I would try to picture it in my mind. I would imagine that I felt very comfortable, and I almost did. During some of the contractions we took my mom’s advice, and we would say the Lord’s Prayer. I couldn’t remember the words and I could barely annunciate them, but it helped to have something to DO, rather than just let the pain happen to me. During some of the contractions Linda would just pray thanking the Lord. She kept saying “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.” I remember being angry that she would not say anything about WHAT we were thankful for. All I could think of was the pain and I was not feeling especially thankful for that. Probably the most helpful thing was when they would tell me I only had thirty seconds left on that contraction. Immediately I would start to feel better.
When it came time to push, I remembered what my birth class instructor had said about how most women like this part of labor. While I was extremely exhausted at that point and didn’t want to keep going, it did feel good to push through the contractions. At the start of a contraction I would make sounds and everyone knew it was time to help me push. Linda and Ivan were on either side of me, each with a thigh in hand, aiding me to open up. The nurses would guide me through 3 ten-second-long pushes during each contraction. They kept telling me to push into my butt, like I had to make a big poop. They wheeled a huge mirror over (even though I said I didn’t want to see) so I could see the baby’s head moving down. This encouraged me to keep going. Also, the fact that I wanted it all to be over gave me strength to push harder. When I looked in the mirror, I could see that everything down there was swollen to a point that I was horrified, but knew it was normal. Apparently this went on for about an hour and a half , and Dr. Grady showed up at some point to guide me and catch the baby.
When the baby finally came out, it felt very wiggly for a few seconds. I felt every curve of his shoulders down to his feet come out of me. The baby was all purple and not moving until Dr. Grady gave him a rub. Dr. Grady moved the cord and put the baby on my chest for a few minutes. I didn’t know what to do with him. I delivered the placenta, and I asked Dr. Grady if I could see it. He grabbed the cord and lifted it up to show me. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I was surprised how skinny the umbilical cord looked.
I wanted to nurse the baby, but they took him away for a minute to do his Apgar scores, clamp his cord etc. I got to nurse him right away, but it I think it was pretty short-lived. Though Linda had pushed us to name the baby before his arrival, we waited to look at him. Ivan and I discussed the name again, and I vetoed Conan. We named him Samson Leigh. Leigh is one of Ivan’s middle names. We still accidentally called him Conan during the first couple days.
Throughout the entire ordeal, Samson was such a trooper! His heart rate remained steady and strong through the whole labor. The hospital staff were great and the hospital was really nice. I got a huge labor room, which felt very comfortable. A few hours after the birth, they moved me to a smaller, but equally comfortable recovery room, where Ivan, the baby, and I roomed for about 2 and a half days, being waited on hand-and-foot. The nurses helped me clean myself up and gave me perineal ice packs, ibuprofen, and stool softeners every few hours during those days. By Tuesday afternoon, I wanted to go home.
Recently a friend whom I have not had contact with in about a year, contacted me to let me know that the Lord had awoken her in the middle of the night with the desire to pray for Ivan and me. She thought it was around the day that I gave birth. I am sure that that was God giving me the strength I needed, and now I have such a cool story to tell about how He was with us.
Notes
1 Ivan is training to be an army officer, probably infantry.
2 The best position for the baby to come out is if he is head-downward and facing the mother’s tailbone.
3 “Water breaking” doesn’t always come all at once. Sometimes it comes out as a leak.
4 It is well documented that the cervix works like any sphincter: you have to relax for it to open! One’s mind has quite a bit of control over the process.
5 It was Superbowl Sunday
6 My labor was as painful as it could possibly be!
7 Timing of contractions is from the beginning of one to the beginning of the next.
9 In between the contractions, I felt almost normal.
10 It didn’t seem like an hour and a half to me. It seemed shorter.
12 We had decided it would either be Conan, Samson, or Solomon.
13 The strangest rule in the hospital was that you couldn't walk the halls with your baby in arms. You could only hold the baby while sitting in a wheelchair or push the baby in the bassinet.
Here is an excerpt from an email I receieved from the wonderfully helpful doula that attended Samson's birth:
"I arrived at the hospital early in the morning and Marcia was very anxious for labor to get started. She knew walking would help. She put on her beautiful, silky robe and we started walking the stairs. There was a lot of construction going on at the hospital and I was not happy to see an extension cord across the path. At one point in the morning an older man came by and tried to get the cords out of the way. He was a very friendly older man and told us about his kids and grandkids. The morning was beautiful and very warm. It got too warm and we went back inside. I am a very talkative person, but Marcia seems more comfortable with silence.
Marcia did not like the nurse named Linda. She was not a kind nurse. She was everything you do not want your nurse to be. When I walked in that morning she was lecturing Marcia that "you are not helpless today. You need to do things for yourself." That night we had a nurse named Daval. She was one of the sweetest people. Just the kind of nurse you want. Daval decided she would not check Marcia. She knew the Dr. would show up some time in the morning. She had natural births herself and was very impressed with Marcia's ability to cope.
I was very impressed with the team work between Marcia and Ivan. They were truly in this together. He wanted to do anything that would help. She was able to say what she needed. She got tired of getting up and down to the bathroom, but moving around kept her labor progressing. When Marcia was not having a contraction she usually fell asleep.
She was such a trouper. I tried to "pray without ceasing," Marcia had a lot of help from heaven that night. I talked with an OB recently who has delivered babies for 20 years. She can think of less then 10 women over that 20 years who managed a natural birth with pitocin. Marcia has a very high tolerance for pain.
At one point as she was pushing Ivan wiped her head with a cool cloth and Marcia says, "Thank you Ivan." We all gave a chuckle at the sweet interaction. Even in pain, Marcia was thinking of Ivan.
I felt like I battled all night in the spirit for the future children of Marcia and Ivan. If morning came and there was no progress they would insist on a c-section. A c-section will limit the number of children you can have. I prayed all night, "Lord, when the Dr. checks her, let her be at a 9." When I went out for breakfast at 8 am the nurse Linda pulled me aside and said, 'Dr. Grady probably won't be here until the afternoon and she probably has not made any more progress all night. You should try to talk them into an epidural." I went to get breakfast, and prayed all the way there and back for wisdom. When I got back, Dr. Grady was there and when he checked her she was a 9. Even then they wanted her to have the epidural. It is all about money to them.
I was very interesting to me how much it helped to have a story to visualize. This was the gist of the beach story that I told to Marcia.
You are standing on a beach. Ivan is there with you. He is standing right behind you and you are leaning into him. The waves are wild and crazy and they crash into you and cover you, but they flow over you and recede. They are already receding and they are taking all your troubles with them.
The sun is going down and it is making a golden road on the water. Your boy is walking that golden road to you. You are a bird and you are flying down to him. You are telling him how happy you are that he is coming to you. You are giving him encouragement to come quickly. You are telling him how excited you are to be with him. You can't wait to hold him in your arms.
The sun going down is a picture of your childhood. The sun is setting and your childhood is setting. You are no longer the child. You are the mother and you are ready for this. You have prepared and you are ready to welcome this sweet baby into your arms and your family.
Ivan and Marcia, thank you so much for letting me share the birth with you. I know it is not easy to allow a stranger into the most intimate of experiences. I learned so much while sharing this with you. And I have a wonderful story to tell all the people who attend my classes. I'll tell them about the 2 Sam's. One with an epidural and one with pitocin. You are a hero in my eyes. God bless your mothering and give you wisdom and strength in the middle of every challenges.
Blessings, Linda"
Monday, April 06, 2009
I have a little boy!
So I finally have a precious son to love and raise and argue with and teach and worry about and give my life for. Don't get me wrong, Jesus is definitely my first love and Ivan will always be the most important person in my life, but having a son is a special kind of love and a special task God has given me.
Samson was born Feb. 1, 2009 at Methodist hospital in Arcadia, CA. We dedicated him to the Lord at Shiloh Baptist Church in Cedar Falls, IA on March 22, 2009. I will share more about his birth later.
Samson is 9 weeks old now and has finally learned that night time is for sleeping! and daytime is for playtime! He is getting so big. He weighed in at 14 lbs last week -- off the charts for his age. He is going to be like his daddy -- tall!
Samson was born Feb. 1, 2009 at Methodist hospital in Arcadia, CA. We dedicated him to the Lord at Shiloh Baptist Church in Cedar Falls, IA on March 22, 2009. I will share more about his birth later.
Samson is 9 weeks old now and has finally learned that night time is for sleeping! and daytime is for playtime! He is getting so big. He weighed in at 14 lbs last week -- off the charts for his age. He is going to be like his daddy -- tall!
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